That was it then. Christmas is over and done with for another year. Is it just me, or is Christmas Day itself always a bit of a downer? The best part of the festive season is the anticipation and the build-up. Going to see the lights being switched on, the parties, feeling the atmosphere when you’re out shopping. Everyone is preparing for something. The 25th is the end of it as far as I’m concerned. In fact, I would go as far as to say Christmas Eve is better than Christmas Day.
I obviously angered God this year, as he punished me by making me work on both Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. Walking into the shop yesterday, you would never have known that Christmas had just happened. Every single decoration was gone, the music had stopped, and everyone seemed to have lost the spring in their step.
The three days before the big day were spent helping to hand out several hundred Christmas food orders, which was hard work, but at least it meant I was out of the firing line that the checkouts would have been.
Next on the agenda is, of course, the new year. Let’s talk about that.
Resolutions: I don’t bother with them any more. You can’t go to bed one night and wake up as someone completely different the next morning. Self-improvement is an ongoing, gradual process and it doesn’t do you any good to set a hard deadline like 1st January to change your ways. Yes, I’d like to lose weight but I am not suddenly going to be a health freak as we move into the new year.
I am also feeling, more than I have ever done, that I need a new job. That’s going to be something to crack on with right away.
Things to look forward to: if, like me, you’re into sport then 2024 is going to be a treat. The year ahead features a World Cup in T20 cricket (England are the holders), a European Championships in football (please, Gareth, let them off the reins) and the Olympic Games in Paris (the one hour time difference will be great for viewers on this side of the channel).
In music, there are rumours that Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys will reunite with Miles Kane for a third The Last Shadow Puppets album – though nothing is confirmed about that yet. As discussed last week, we do know that Blossoms will be releasing an album, promising several collaborations. The Stockport five-piece will play the biggest show of their careers so far at Wythenshawe Park on 25th August, which just so happens to be my 32nd birthday.
Watch/listen/read/play: I recommend watching Mog’s Christmas, which was on Channel 4 on Christmas Eve. It was an utterly charming half-hour of wholesome fun and it featured the unmistakeable voice of Benedict Cumberbatch. Catch up with it here.
That’s it for the second edition of I Write Wednesday. Have a fantastic new year and I’ll see you next week.
In my younger days, I loved The Beano and The Dandy and my mum had both comics delivered to the house each week. I thought the smell of a fresh comic was one of the most intoxicating imaginable and was sold on their bright colours, gentle humour and simple charm.
I have a large, very heavy box under my bed right now containing pretty much every comic that ever came through the letterbox of my childhood home. When I feel like adult life is getting on top of me, which happens more often than it really should, I open the box and spend a while indulging myself in the innocence of youth.
It seems that my ‘golden’ period of receiving The Beano and The Dandy was between 1999 – the year I turned 7 – and 2003, when I was 11.
My box of comics
There’s a sort of running joke I have with a friend from when I was at university. We often talk about how we’re getting old and that our youth is well behind us. Well, we will both be 30 next birthday (him before me, I must add) which feels like something of a milestone but our chat about pipes, slippers and bowls of mashed up apple might be somewhat premature.
Still, looking back through my old comics, it’s hard not to smile at how dated these dear old things are. Here are a few examples.
This issue of The Beano, from December 2002, was giving away a free pack of stickers for your FA Premier League album. Collecting football stickers is still very much a thing, so nothing too bad so far, but look at the players used to advertise this brilliant giveaway! Dennis Bergkamp of Arsenal (retired in 2006), Paolo Di Canio of West Ham (now 53 years old) and Michael Owen of Liverpool (who left the Premier League to join Real Madrid two seasons later).
A 9-year-old can’t just fill his football sticker album up on an empty stomach, though. He’s got to have breakfast first. How about some Mornflake Oats? You can still buy them, though heaven knows when I last saw an advert for them. The bit that caught my eye was the statement that they are available at Somerfield. That particular chain of supermarkets was taken over by the Co-Op in 2009, and by 2012 all Somerfield stores had been rebranded to that of their new owners.
I’ve written before about how I’m not into films, but Disney’s Tarzan was one of the few that I have actually seen in the cinema. The film was released in October 1999, but by Christmas 2002 the character was back in an exciting new video game for… the GameBoy Advance. Released in the summer of 2001, the GameBoy Advance took games away from the bedroom and made them portable – for as long as the battery would last, that is. I never had one (I had the original GameBoy, which was in black and white).
I may not have had a GameBoy Advance but I did have a PlayStation 2. Pretty much everyone I knew who was my age between 2002 and 2006 had one, actually. There was one boy at school who had a GameCube – we all thought he was weird. The PS2 is still the best selling games console of all time (more than 155 million of them have been sold worldwide) but anyone who wasn’t lucky enough to own one in December 2002 had the chance to win one in this competition. Note how you can’t enter online, you’ve got to send your entry in by post.
Speaking of brilliant competitions, here’s another one. I don’t know if this still happens, but when I was a kid it seemed nearly everyone – boys especially – went through a stage where we’d spend that bit between getting home from school and going in for tea whizzing about on skateboards. I had one myself, but I was utterly useless at it and never did manage to pull off a single trick on it. Here the comic is giving away a skateboard. What could possibly make that prize better? By the skateboard having a photo of your favourite WWF wrestler on it, of course!
Yes, nowadays it’s the WWE that does wrestling, but until 2002 it was called the World Wrestling Federation. They were forced to change the name when they lost a court battle with the World Wildlife Fund. I swear I’m not making this up.
Those are just a few examples of how the last 20 years or so have changed the world, seen through the prism of British comics. Wow, does it make me wish I was 10 again. The comics still even have the little sticker on them that the newsagent would use to let the paper boy know where to deliver them. Simpler, happier times.
I don’t mind big crowds. They afford a certain anonymity, and I like that. I would prefer to be in a crowd than in a room with one other person. I’m used to them, too – I’ve had a season ticket at Norwich City for 13 years, I’ve seen the England cricket team a few times, I’ve been to a play-off final at Wembley.
On 4th March 2020 I went to see Norwich play Spurs at their magnificent new Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. There were 58,000 people there to see City win on penalties and progress to the FA Cup quarter finals. Covid-19 was most definitely around at that point – it had been over a month since the first confirmed case in the UK and businesses were starting to ask their employees how they would feel about working from home. But it would be another nineteen days before the country went into full lockdown.
There was no indication that it would be a full 503 days until I would be watching sport in the flesh again. On Tuesday 20th July, a day after almost all legal restrictions related to coronavirus had been lifted in England, I was at a packed Old Trafford cricket ground to see England play Pakistan in a T20 match.
I was unsure of how I’d feel about being back in a capacity crowd, but I was surprised how normal it felt. Getting into the ground, having walked from the hotel, was quick and easy. The only sign that there was a pandemic at all was the ground staff wearing masks. I wore mine when I was moving around the ground, having only had one vaccine dose so far it seemed a reasonable precaution. With mask wearing now a personal choice rather than a legal requirement, however, I was among a minority who donned a face covering. We were almost always outside and it was a scorching hot afternoon but it jarred a little, it must be said.
My mum, her partner and I had seats right on the back row of the top tier of the stand next to the pavilion so we didn’t have people breathing on the back of our necks for four hours, thankfully. The PA announcer gave semi-regular reminders to wash your hands, try to keep a safe distance from other people and respect their choices regarding face coverings but, again, without those you wouldn’t have even known what had been going on for the last eighteen months.
Old Trafford was full
There is a large population of British Asians in the north west and Old Trafford had a lot of Pakistan fans in attendance, proudly showing off their green shirts, waving the Pakistani flag and blowing horns at deafening volume. There can’t have been much difference in numbers between England and Pakistan supporters, and the Pakistan fans were certainly louder than their English counterparts. It made for a fantastic atmosphere and it got the intriguing game of cricket it deserved.
This game was the last in a series of three T20 matches between the two countries. The first, at Trent Bridge in Nottingham, was a very high scoring affair with England falling 31 runs short of chasing Pakistan’s mammoth 232-6. Liam Livingstone smashed 103 off just 43 balls, the fastest century for England in T20 Internationals, but it wasn’t quite enough. Headingley in Leeds was the venue for the second match, with England 200 all out with one ball remaining in their innings and defending it comfortably thanks to their spinners to win by 45 runs. That meant the Old Trafford match was a decider and a chance to see where both sides were at ahead of the World Cup that starts in October.
In case you didn’t know…
When you think of Old Trafford, you probably think of the home of Manchester United, but the football ground and cricket ground are different places. They are a short distance from each other, but the cricket ground was actually there first.
My mum was hoping to see sixes flying all over the place, but the pitch was slow and difficult to bat on. Pakistan won the toss and batted first, posting a total of 154-6. Wicketkeeper and opening batsman Mohammad Rizwan top scored with an unbeaten 76 but that took a relatively sedate 57 balls and it quickly became apparent that there was nothing in the pitch for the seamers. Most of the bowling was done by the spinners, with England’s Adil Rashid taking 4-35 from his four overs.
This sort of slow, dry, spinning pitch is just the sort of thing that England might have to play on in the World Cup, which is being held in the United Arab Emirates and Oman, so it is possible that such conditions were deliberately concocted to give them some experience of how to deal with them.
England’s opening batsman Jason Roy found it easier than most to find the boundary, scoring 64 from 36 balls with 12 fours and 1 six, an innings which proved decisive in the match and enough to earn Roy the player of the match award. Star man Jos Buttler couldn’t really get going – much to my mother’s chagrin – and whenever anyone tried to go big they were usually caught in the deep.
A wonderful sunset as a hot day came to an end
A regular fall of wickets left England behind the required run rate and needing 33 from 19 balls and 12 from 8 when the fifth wicket went down. Liam Livingstone, player of the series and Lancashire favourite, strode out and promptly whacked his first ball for six to put England back in the driving seat. He was caught next ball (also trying to hit it into next week) and the captain Eoin Morgan was still to go but the home team scrambled a two to seal victory with two balls to spare. Not a high scoring match, but a last over thriller satisfied the crowd.
Getting out of the ground was no problem as we stayed to watch the trophy presentation while most of the deflated Pakistan supporters were leaving. And that was that – my first sporting event attended in person since the pandemic began. It shouldn’t – and I really hope it isn’t – another 503 days before the next one.
England collect the trophy after winning the series 2-1
England’s impressive young team made the international break more bearable
I’m never pleased when the international break comes around. They force an irritating halt to domestic football. In September, October and November they make the beginning of the season a stop-start affair; at times like this they make us all pause when our clubs have important matters to attend to.
That this one should be at the Easter weekend, traditionally a packed four days in the league calendar, made it even less welcome. Norwich City’s back-to-back clean sheets, first win since early January and slice of fortune with the result of the Tyne-Wear derby would have to be put to one side for a fortnight, until the huge game against Newcastle.
In the meantime, England would play friendlies against Germany and the Netherlands as part of their preparations for Euro 2016. Like many, I wasn’t expecting much. Germany are the world champions and, in Berlin, you’d expect them to sweep England aside.
This is the reason why what actually happened last night was such a pleasant surprise. From the start, there was an energy about the England team. They were closing the Germans down very well. We are so used to seeing us sit back and watch the opposition pass the ball around in these prestige friendlies, but last night the hosts were not given any time on the ball before a red shirt was trying to hound it off them.
Germany had a goal incorrectly ruled out for offside, but hey, it’s about time England had some luck (Frank Lampard anyone?). The Germans did go ahead when Toni Kroos took advantage of goalkeeper Jack Butland’s hindered mobility to fire one in at his near post. I am certain that, had he not done damage to himself seconds earlier, the Stoke keeper would have made a routine save.
In the second half, England were continuing to impress, finding each other well with passes and causing their rivals problems with some clever moves. It seemed unjust when Mario Gomez jumped between Gary Cahill and Nathaniel Clyne to put Germany 2-0 up. It was a scoreline that would have given the ‘same old England’ brigade ammunition but did not tell the story of the match.
What England were doing was making chances but wasting them. In the end, they had 19 shots on goal – 9 more than Germany – and 6 of them were on target. The Germans only hit the target twice in the whole game, and with stereotypical efficiency, scored two goals.
Harry Kane provided the spark for an England comeback by reigning in an untidy Jordan Henderson corner and fooled two defenders with a Cruyff turn – so apt in this week of all weeks – before striking it into the corner of the net with pinpoint accuracy.
Harry Kane sends a German defender for ice cream as he scores England’s first goal in Berlin
With less than twenty minutes to go, Roy Hodgson introduced Jamie Vardy in place of Danny Welbeck. He had been on the pitch for 198 seconds when his audacious backheel from Clyne’s cross wrong-footed Manuel Neuer and brought the scores level. Vardy became the first Leicester City player since Gary Lineker in 1985 to score a goal for England.
All but the harshest of England supporters would have gladly taken a draw away from the Olympiastadion having been two goals behind with 25 minutes to play. However, in stoppage time, Jordan Henderson finally got one of his corners right and Eric Dier thumped it in with his head to stun the world champions and give England a quite brilliant victory.
Eric Dier completed the comeback to stun the world champions Germany
I will not get carried away. You can tell me that it was a friendly, that it was an ‘experimental’ German side, that it was a fluke, whatever – it was still a performance to get a little bit excited about. We are not going to win the Euros this summer. We might, however, do ourselves proud while we are there and build towards future tournaments with genuine promise.
The reason for this optimism is from the players involved in Berlin. We knew Joe Hart would be missing after getting injured in last weekend’s Manchester derby, but no one was particularly worried because we knew that Jack Butland was a more than able deputy. Butland was injured himself in the first half of the match, but Southampton’s Fraser Forster was perfectly capable of filling in. Goalkeeper wise, England have rarely had three as strong as those at the same time.
In defence, England look to have sorted out the full back positions. Nathaniel Clyne and Danny Rose appeared right at home in the back four, Rose in particular with some excellent tackles, and both were willing to race forward and mount an attack. Gary Cahill is clearly the odd one out, and you would expect John Stones to replace him at some point in the near future and form a partnership with Chris Smalling.
Eric Dier did an excellent job of protecting the defence and demonstrated his ability to pick out a forward pass. I personally have questions over the Liverpool pair of Henderson and Adam Lallana. Lallana hasn’t had a great season but has the ability, Henderson I wonder if he’s actually just rather ordinary and is mostly ‘a great man to have in the dressing room’. He missed a glorious chance, having his shot blocked by a defender when the keeper had been taken out of the equation, and I wonder if Ross Barkley has more of a place in this team than him.
The outstanding player for England on a night of very good performances was Dele Alli. It was easy to forget that the Tottenham midfielder is a few weeks away from his 20th birthday. Rarely has an Englishman looked so comfortable on the international stage so early on in their career. His dribbling, his passing and his sheer will to be involved and get on the ball made him more than fit to share a stage with the world champions on the night. He will need careful management but we look to have a real star on our hands here.
Dele Alli was magnificent on a great night for England
Danny Welbeck often gets a raw deal from the fans but he worked hard for his country, getting into good positions and never allowing the defenders to rest, always niggling away at them. His finishing ability is undoubted, and he has a definite role to play in the squad. Talk of finishing ability – Harry Kane is one of the best we’ve had in that respect for a long time, and Jamie Vardy continues to ride on the crest of a wave. Four years ago, Vardy was playing for Fleetwood Town.
Then consider what England have in reserve. Leicester’s Danny Drinkwater was in the squad for the first time, rewarded for a sublime campaign for the Premier League leaders, and, in the end, was untried. He will surely get some time on the pitch against the Netherlands on Tuesday. Daniel Sturridge didn’t make it off the bench. There is still Wayne Rooney to come back from injury too.
This is a very young team too. Take a look at the ages of the starting eleven in this game:
Jack Butland – 23
Nathaniel Clyne – 24
Gary Cahill – 30
Chris Smalling – 26
Danny Rose – 25
Eric Dier – 22
Jordan Henderson – 25
Adam Lallana – 27
Dele Alli – 19
Danny Welbeck – 25
Harry Kane – 22
If Cahill is indeed replaced by 21-year-old Stones, this brings the average age down even further. This is a squad of players who will be around for a while. 30-year-old Rooney would be something of an old man amongst that lot, but might not be the worst player to have as a vastly experienced captain to guide them.
Four of the starters last night were Tottenham players. I think it showed too, they were linking up with each other superbly. It can only help the national team if the core of the side all play for the same club. Three were Liverpool players, and just one was a Manchester United man. How times change.
I can honestly say that last night was the best I’d seen England play in a very long time and it felt slightly strange to actually be enjoying watching an international friendly. The future looks bright and if they can play like that more often, maybe I won’t be quite so annoyed when the international break rolls around. Maybe.
Another day, another disappointment. Norwich City put in a strong shift on Saturday and worked hard to get themselves 2-0 up – but this is no longer the time to be taking the positives. We need to win, we need points and we need to stop the rot.
For the West Ham game, a lot had been changed at Carrow Road. I don’t just mean the team selection (three alterations from last week) or tactics, but pretty much everything. The players walked out to Kasabian instead of Kanye, we were treated to live opera in the centre circle before kick-off, and – that sure sign that things aren’t going well – clips of the commentary of some of the club’s greatest moments boomed from the speakers in an attempt to fire us up. That last one, in particular, made it feel like the last few months of the Hughton reign all over again.
I try to be as fair as possible when forming my opinions on City. I’ll leave it a few hours after a draw or defeat before I pass comment, so I can be sure that what’s going through my head isn’t just in the heat of the moment. I still feel that on Saturday Norwich were the better side and did not really look threatened until West Ham scored their rather fortunate first goal.
We came racing out of the blocks and while we didn’t manage to score in the first few minutes, the approach was correct. West Ham had gone all the way to the end of extra time with Liverpool in their FA Cup fourth round replay just four days previously. They had injury problems. City went out to get on top from the start.
Robbie Brady scored an excellent goal, which hopefully signals a return to form for him, and the exhilaration around Carrow Road was palpable. There was an even bigger outpouring of joy when Wes Hoolahan doubled the lead. What a position we were in – 2-0 up, 25 minutes to go – would we get a better chance for a Premier League win?
Robbie Brady gave Norwich City the lead but it wasn’t to last.
Nearly ten minutes later, when West Ham scored, there was a definite feeling around the ground of despair. They had only made it 2-1, but there was an air of ‘here we go again’ as if the crowd just knew that the Hammers would go on to equalise. Or worse.
The defence was blamed again – but I’m not sure that’s fair this time. Brady made a superb tackle on Victor Moses, but the West Ham substitute got a bit of luck and managed to shoot. The shot was well saved by John Ruddy (who played well on his return to the side, I thought) but the rebound fell kindly for Dimitri Payet. For the equaliser, perhaps Timm Klose could have been slightly stronger but it was a well-spotted pass and a great strike from Mark Noble. I just think it’s too easy at the moment to blame the defence for every goal we concede. Sometimes you have to admit the opposition forced their way through.
In the end, we had to settle for a point. A point that we say we probably would have taken before the game, but having been 2-0 up it feels like a defeat. City missed the chance to end this horrible winless run and build confidence going forward. Before Saturday’s game, I attempted to predict the outcomes of Norwich’s thirteen remaining games. I came up with three wins, three draws, and seven defeats – ending with 35 points. It’s unlikely to be enough to stay up.
The worrying thing is I predicted a draw with West Ham…
LEE PAYNE 