I was in Lincoln Cathedral (again) today and something made me laugh.
I couldn’t quite figure out a way to show it to you all so what I was trying to point out really came across, and this is the best method I could think of.
In one corner of the cathedral there is a board, aimed at children, asking the following question:
It’s a good way to keep the kids interested and give them something to think about and to do.
In a heartwarming way, a lot of the responses stuck to the board were noble, wishes to end world hunger, cure cancer and put an end to all wars and so on:
I continued to scan the board, though, confident that somewhere I’d find one where the author had not quite received the memo.
This one, I imagine, was a highly offended Christian adult:
That person is not, I’m guessing, much of a laugh.
Anyway, I soon hit the jackpot. Given the chance to be God for a day – the almighty – and to do anything you wanted, to make any change to the world you wished to, this person says:
I can’t think of a better way to achieve world peace, can you?
The last time I wrote to you, I was about to leave Nottingham for the next stop on my road trip holiday.
Before going away, I had read about Nottinghamshire in a book I had called I Never Knew That About England. The section on Southwell I found particularly interesting, with it being described as one of England’s least known cathedral towns. It turned out to be a perfectly easy stop on the way between Nottingham and Lincoln, so mum and I decided to go and explore.
The quite remarkable Southwell Minster. I didn’t have the patience to wait for the old lady with the walking frame to get out of the way.
Southwell is a small, pretty, well-looked-after town that is completely dominated by its magnificnet minster. Built in Roman times, it really needs to be seen to be believed.
The town is also famous for (and very proud of) being the birthplace of the Bramley apple. Mary Ann Brailsford, aged 9, planted some apple pips in her garden on the outskirts of Southwell in 1809. The resulting tree produced so much fruit that in 1856 the later owner of the house, Matthew Bramley, was asked if he would consider selling the apples. By 2007, 95% of total culinary apple orchards in England and Wales were Bramley apples. Mary Ann Brailsford probably never knew that the tree she planted had become so famous – when you think about it, we should really be making our apple pies with Brailsfords.
From Southwell, we drove on to Lincoln. This was my first time in Lincoln, but unlikely to be my last. With its castle and cathedral, I felt an immediate affinity with my beloved home city of Norwich. It doesn’t happen often, but Lincoln might actually beat Norwich for history – it still has a Roman archway that traffic passes through.
We had been warned about Steep Hill in Lincoln, possibly the most aptly named road in Britain. My dear mum, who is asthmatic, has a hernia and has just turned 60, surprised the both of us by managing to walk up this monster of a hill. Here she is at the top.
Mum at the top of Lincoln’s frankly ludicrous Steep Hill
Steep Hill was well worth the climb though, as the Cathedral Quarter at the top is beautiful. We went into the grounds of the castle and paid to do the castle wall walk. You get to walk all the way along the top of the castle walls, a full circle, and it was well worth the £10 fee to do so. The views are simply spectacular, both of the cathedral opposite and the surrounding countryside.
The cathedral as seen from the castle walls.Overlooking Lincoln from the castle walls
We decided to come back on Thursday to do the cathedral. The only other thing we did in Lincoln on Wednesday was have the best waffle I’ve ever tasted at Madame Waffle. Seriously, if you are ever in Lincoln, go and have a waffle at Madame Waffle. I had one covered in Nutella and topped with fresh strawberries and I am wondering if I will ever taste anything like it again.
The nave of Lincoln Cathedral was off limits to the public on the day we visited because it was being used for the local university’s graduation ceremonies, but it meant we got in for a reduced rate and got to experiene the atmosphere of a cathedral filled with the sound of organ music. There was still plenty of the magnificent building worth seeing, including the Chapter House.
The Chapter House inside Lincoln Cathedral
I had also read about a slightly more recent bit of quirky history to do with Lincoln cathedral. The story goes that a boy, Gilbert Bell, was playing with a tennis ball in the shadow of the cathedral, all the way back in 1914, when it unfortunately became stuck in the mouldings of the building. It was too high to even entertain the thought of climbing up to retrieve it. And there Gilbert’s tennis ball has remained! 110 years on, the tennis ball is still lodged in place – and I managed to find it!
Gilbert Bell’s tennis ball, lodged in the mouldings of Lincoln Cathedral since 1914
The final stop on the road trip was to Boston. Boston is famous for being the place a lot of the first pilgrims that travelled to the USA came from – and that is very much what the town shouts about. References to the pilgrims are everywhere – in statues, in street names, in pubs. I don’t want to be too negative about the place, but I can understand why the pilgrims were so keen to leave! Of course, the Boston in Massachusetts, USA takes its name from this Lincolnshire port.
Yes, Boston is a little on the rough side these days. A lot of it needs regenerating, I was wary of the locals and I made sure I wasn’t still out after dark. But our accomodation, the Quayside Hotel, was a gem. Its owners were actually once winners on the Channel 4 show Four in a Bed. The rooms were small but had everything I could wish for.
Relaxing on my bed in the Quayside Hotel, Boston
Undoubtedly the jewel in Boston’s weathered crown is St Botolph’s Church, known locally as the Stump. The sheer size of what is simply a parish church would put many cathedrals to shame. We had a great time wandering around, taking in all the details, and watching resident ‘morale assistant’ dog Morse running around with a tennis ball.
St Botolph’s Church, Boston, knows as ‘the Stump’
And so to Friday morning. Mum wanted to go to the coast, look back over the Wash to the shoreline of Norfolk, and take in the view that she had so often seen from the other side. We achieved this at a salt marsh about twenty minutes from Boston.
Salt marsh near Boston. In the distance you can just about make out the Norfolk coastline (the Hunstanton/Heacham area)
Then it was time to head home. Another lovely holiday is over, and on Sunday it’s back to the Misery Dome (i.e. work) for me. But I have really enjoyed myself. It’s been lovely to get away, to recharge, to see some new sights. I’ve even walked in the footsteps of royalty. I saw a great day of cricket and discovered Lincoln. I come home happy.
I’ve been spending a few days in Durham. While Norwich City do in fact play away at Newcastle this weekend (about 18 miles away) my visit is unrelated. I had a week off work coming up, did not want to be at home crawling up the walls with boredom, and my godmother – who works up here – kindly offered me the chance to come and stay at her place.
My Durham Cathedral selfie.
Last night, while out for a walk, I had an idea. I asked my godmother to come up with a list of things that she wanted me to go and photograph the next day – a sort of treasure hunt. When I got up this morning, I had a Skype message from her containing this list:
Whatever is up both of those alleyways (alleyways we had seen on our walk)
The Sanctuary knocker
Harry Potter style cloisters
A cathedral made of Lego
A poem on a stone bridge with the cathedral in the background
A piece of rubbish in an inappropriate place
A large map of the UK embedded in the pavement, made up of coloured stone in a geological manner
Tracy Franklin’s studio
A nice pile of washing up on the draining board
A cup of coffee in your hand
Around midday today, I was ready with my phone to start the challenge. Here’s how I got on.
Whatever is up both of those alleyways
Durham is a very old city. It’s full of narrow streets, listed buildings and hidden passages. On our walk last night, my godmother and I came to one of these hidden passages.
The entrance to one of the alleyways.
It was getting quite late and the alleyway looked rather spooky in the dark, it has to be said. In the comfort of daylight, I headed up the steps and saw this ahead of me:
This is what was up one of those alleyways.
When we had been looking at the entrance last night, a man in a suit strolled past us and went up there. It felt rather narrow and a bit eerie even during the day, so I would certainly not have gone up there at night like he did! The other alleyway I was tasked to explore looked like this:
The other alleyway.
It turns out that this alleyway merges with the other one and they both take you just outside Pizza Express!
The Sanctuary knocker
In case you don’t know, a Sanctuary knocker (or ‘haogday’ but that’s just a weird name for it) is an ornamental knocker on the door of a cathedral. Long ago, if you touched the knocker, you were afforded the right of asylum inside. Think of a medieval Julian Assange. This ended about 400 years ago, so don’t try it the next time you are on the run from the police. Here’s the Sanctuary knocker on Durham Cathedral.
It’s much bigger than it looks here.
Harry Potter style cloisters
The city of Durham is dominated by its cathedral. It looms large over the whole peninsula.
Durham Cathedral looms large over the city.
I knew that the next target on the list would involve a trip inside this magnificent building. I made my way to the cloisters – stopping to take in the awe-inspiring interior – and got the shot I needed.
The Harry Potter style cloisters of Durham Cathedral.
My godmother hadn’t put ‘Harry Potter style’ cloisters on the list just because they look like they should be part of Hogwarts – she put it like that because they are part of Hogwarts. Durham Cathedral was used as a location for the first two films in the series – the Philosopher’s Stone and the Chamber of Secrets. The cloisters are where Ron’s spell backfired and he ended up coughing up slugs. Here is a page showing some of the scenes shot here.
Parts of Durham Cathedral are currently covered in scaffolding as it undergoes major repairs and development. They are calling the project Open Treasure and you can donate to help them maintain this amazing place.
A cathedral made of Lego
Reading the list with somewhat bleary eyes this morning, I did think ‘she wants me to make the cathedral out of Lego!?’. It seems an unlikely request, but you don’t know my godmother like I do. I then realised that there must be a Lego model of Durham Cathedral. After taking a photo of the cloisters, I headed for the gift shop and found what I was looking for.
That’s a lot of Lego.
The ‘182,000’ on the roof of this impressive Lego creation refers to the fact that there are now more than 182,000 pieces of Lego used in the model. And it’s not even finished. People can buy a brick and add it to the model personally.
A poem on a stone bridge with the cathedral in the background
Having left the cathedral, I went in search of this rather specific target. I had heard vaguely before about a bridge in Durham inscribed with a poem, but I had no idea where it was. It turns out it is on the secluded Prebends Bridge. It’s more than 340 years old and features the words of Sir Walter Scott from Harold the Dauntless.
I was pretty pleased to get the money shot of the cathedral in the background too.
A piece of rubbish in an inappropriate place
I thought this one would be easy. Durham is so historic that pretty much any rubbish lying around would be inappropriate. However, it seems the people here know that and so I discovered that Durham is one of the most litter-free places I have ever been to. I was scouring the flowerbeds close to the cathedral for just one crisp packet. I was desperate enough at one point to consider putting a piece of rubbish on the toilet seat in the flat and claiming that as target complete. Eventually, I settled on this:
I get a pass for this one, don’t I?
That’s rubbish. Check. That’s in the front yard of the road leading to the World Heritage Site. That’s got to be inappropriate, right? I do wonder what the people who saw me take that photo must have thought of me.
A large map of the UK embedded in the pavement, made up of coloured stone in a geological manner
This was the most difficult one on the list to find. This is because it’s not in the city centre, but outside the University of Durham’s Bill Bryson Library.
Like Ronseal, it does exactly what it says on the tin.
Once you get the idea of what it is and what it represents it’s pretty cool I think.
Tracy Franklin’s studio
‘Who the hell is Tracy Franklin?’ I hear you ask. Good question. I hadn’t got a clue either. Tracy Franklin is an embroiderer, and her studio is here in a back street.
Tracy Franklin’s studio.
I would tell you more about Tracy Franklin and her embroidery, but as embroidery is one of the most boring things in the world, I won’t.
A nice pile of washing up on the draining board
Now this was a very sneaky way for my godmother to get the washing up done in her flat. Being the excellent guest that I am, I did this before heading out this morning. Here’s the proof.
How clean is your house?
Last but not least…
A cup of coffee in your hand
After traipsing around Durham for more than three hours, I was quite happy to complete the challenge with this one. Sat back in the flat, this cup of coffee was very welcome on a chilly October day.
Raising a mug to my successful completion of the challenge.
With that, my photo treasure hunt was finished. It was a lot of fun actually, a great way to explore somewhere you’re not familiar with. I recommend this game the next time you go on holiday.
Thanks for reading, and rest assured normal service will be resumed shortly.
LEE PAYNE 