LEE PAYNE

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  • “Is it a girl’s game?” – gems from a football annual published in 1978

    I found another gem in a charity shop recently.

    Above is something I imagine your nan would have put in your Christmas stocking in 1978, if football was the only thing she knew for definite her grandson liked. 45 years after it was published, I was fascinated to see the sort of thing that made it into such a book and how it differs from today. Just as I had been with a 1964 edition of Charles Buchan’s Football Monthly that I found last year.

    Information about the Score annual is irritatingly scarce online. Its publisher, Fleetway, was also responsible for well known comics such as Tiger, Eagle, Roy of the Rovers and 2000 AD, with the name disappearing in 2002. It seems the football annual we are looking at originates from Score ‘n’ Roar, a short-lived weekly comic.

    The 1979 edition is a mixture of black and white and colour pages, not uncommon for the time. The first few are full-page colour photographs of notable contemporary football players – the yellow and green of the Norwich City kit catches the eye here, with captain Martin Peters the focus. Peters had been part of the England World Cup winning squad in 1966 and, as the caption marvels at, was still playing top division football twelve years later. That, too, for the Canaries!

    Another of the featured players is Trevor Francis. Francis sadly died last month aged 69, having spent much of his life carrying around the tag of “Britain’s first £1 million footballer”. That transfer, from Birmingham City to Nottingham Forest, had not happened by the time this Score annual was published, however, so instead the caption talks about him as a potential star for England at the 1982 World Cup. Francis was picked for that tournament, scoring against Czechoslovakia and Kuwait, but England were knocked out due to goalless draws with Spain and West Germany. He scored the winning goal in the 1979 European Cup final for Nottingham Forest, played for ten clubs, managed four, and later forged a career as a co-commentator with Sky Sports. A life well lived. May he rest in peace.

    The transfer fees in the game of football these days are, quite frankly, ridiculous. Seven of the twenty most expensive deals in the sport’s history have happened in 2023 alone, and all of them in the last 14 years. A club spending £100 million on a single player is becoming increasingly common.

    It raised a smile, then, when I read this article about goalkeepers in the annual. The caption under Peter Shilton’s right leg says he is demonstrating “just why he’s worth more than £300,000”. Adjusted for inflation, that would make Shilton – capped a record 125 times by England and a two-time European Cup winner – valued at just over £1.5 million. That would only get you a half decent third division player these days.

    The 1970s may have been a time when what we would perhaps call ‘old fashioned’ views were prevalent. It’s important to say that the Score annual from 1978 is neither racist nor sexist, however. Some of the content does feel a little clunky to modern eyes but, as you can see, it does try to celebrate the black players who were around. It just does it in a way that kind of feels like they are animals in a zoo.

    The double page spread features Laurie Cunningham, Viv Anderson, Vince Hilaire, John Chiedozie, Phil Walker, Trevor Lee, Cyrille Regis and Ricky Hill. It refers to these players as “coloured” throughout. It is hard to imagine such a feature ever being given the green light these days – thankfully.

    Brian Clough is surely one of the most famous football managers of all time. Admired and despised, depending on your view, for his witty comments to the press (“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one”) and apparent arrogance, Clough won league titles with both of the fierce East Midlands rivals Derby County and Nottingham Forest – the road linking the two cities is called Brian Clough Way. The story of his 44-day stint as manager of Leeds was told in the book and the film The Damned United, in which he was portrayed by Michael Sheen. A familiar sight on the touchline in his trademark green jumper, as statue of him stands proudly in the centre of Nottingham. Clough died in 2004.

    The feature in the Score annual focuses on Clough being the joint-manager of the England Youth team. Little did the writer know, Clough would soon achieve something that would leave a far greater legacy. He guided Nottingham Forest, astonishingly, to back-to-back European Cup triumphs in 1979 and 1980.

    As I type this, it is the afternoon of the day the England women’s team beat Australia in the World Cup semi-final to reach their first final. This comes just over a year after they were crowned European champions at Wembley. The match was watched by 75,000 people in the stadium in Sydney and by millions of television viewers on BBC One. Women’s football, and women’s sport in general, has never been more popular.

    It was quite an eye-opener, then, to see a feature in the Score annual with the title “Is it a girl’s game?”. It describes football as “one of the fastest-growing women’s sports” (they had no idea how far they had to go!) and says “already there are women’s teams in leagues up and down the country – and even international matches”. There is a slightly patronising tone to the “even” that gets me in that sentence.

    It’s not a big feature. That block of text is accompanied by only four photos, depicting the English, Swedish, French and Italian women’s teams. The France side are only shown in the dressing room, and the Italy squad at Heathrow airport, but the match action is between England and Sweden. A bit of digging reveals that this is likely to have been the friendly between the two nations at Plough Lane in Wimbledon in 1975. Sweden won 3-1. It is interesting to see a small but interested crowd in the background, with plenty of men in attendance.

    The final thing I’ve picked out from the Score annual of 1979 is this feature on the rising popularity of football in the USA. Aside from claiming that the Americans refer to fans as “fannies” (really?), it explains the slightly different rules used in the North American Soccer League. A line was drawn on the pitch, 35 yards from goal, and a player could only be offside if he was goal side of it. That’s not a bad idea actually…

    The concept of a draw was, and in some ways still is, hard for Americans to get their heads around, so matches in the NASL determined a winner with a shootout. But not a penalty shootout. The ball was placed on that 35 yard offside line and the player had 10 seconds to score. Essentially a one-on-one situation, the player could dribble as far as he liked towards the goal and the keeper could come as far off his line as he wished. That sounds fairer than a penalty shootout, doesn’t it? A truer reflection of the players’ skills? Maybe the Americans had it right as far back as 1978.

    Searching on YouTube, it seems these shootouts remained a part of the game for several years. One video shows San Jose Clash against Chicago Fire from July 1999, where the only thing that’s changed from the 1978 rules is the player now has only 5 seconds to score.

    Teams in the NASL were awarded a whopping 6 points for a win, three times what you’d get in the English leagues in 1978. You would also get an extra point for every goal up to three, so a 3-0 win would see you add 9 points to the table. The losing side would also get a point for each goal scored up to three, so an agonising 4-3 defeat would still see you pick up 3 points. Quite a neat way to encourage attacking football really.

    Phil Woosnam, a former Wales international, was the Commissioner (the boss) of the NASL in 1978 and is quoted as saying “America would like to stage the World Cup Finals and the national team is looking to make an impact in the tournament”. This dream would, of course, be realised in 1994 when the USA hosted the World Cup and the final was played in front of 94,000 people at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. The national team has not gone beyond the quarter finals since 1930, however. They will hope to do better in 2026, when they will once again host the World Cup, alongside Canada and Mexico.

    The feature excitedly tells us that “some grounds have action-replay screens, where supporters can see a goal again in slow motion seconds after it’s been scored”. A novel idea in 1978, now commonplace in just about every top level football ground in the world. Norwich’s Carrow Road has a screen that rotates!

    Score credits the great Pele for sparking football to life in the US, with his three years at New York Cosmos. It mentions “there are moves to expand the League”, which of course they did with Major League Soccer (MLS) in 1996, and now the world’s greatest player – Lionel Messi – turns out for Inter Miami, a team founded by David Beckham. Fair to say the writers in 1978 were right about the potential for the game in the States. The annual comes across as slightly worried about the prospect of players in the English leagues being tempted to go to the US – an eerily similar situation to the one we have now with Saudi Arabian clubs paying colossal sums of money for Premier League stars.

    Lionel Messi in action for Inter Miami in the MLS

    If you’ve made it this far, thank you very much for reading, and I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip back into days gone by.

  • Looking through my box of comics and feeling old

    In my younger days, I loved The Beano and The Dandy and my mum had both comics delivered to the house each week. I thought the smell of a fresh comic was one of the most intoxicating imaginable and was sold on their bright colours, gentle humour and simple charm.

    I have a large, very heavy box under my bed right now containing pretty much every comic that ever came through the letterbox of my childhood home. When I feel like adult life is getting on top of me, which happens more often than it really should, I open the box and spend a while indulging myself in the innocence of youth.

    It seems that my ‘golden’ period of receiving The Beano and The Dandy was between 1999 – the year I turned 7 – and 2003, when I was 11.

    My box of comics

    There’s a sort of running joke I have with a friend from when I was at university. We often talk about how we’re getting old and that our youth is well behind us. Well, we will both be 30 next birthday (him before me, I must add) which feels like something of a milestone but our chat about pipes, slippers and bowls of mashed up apple might be somewhat premature.

    Still, looking back through my old comics, it’s hard not to smile at how dated these dear old things are. Here are a few examples.

    This issue of The Beano, from December 2002, was giving away a free pack of stickers for your FA Premier League album. Collecting football stickers is still very much a thing, so nothing too bad so far, but look at the players used to advertise this brilliant giveaway! Dennis Bergkamp of Arsenal (retired in 2006), Paolo Di Canio of West Ham (now 53 years old) and Michael Owen of Liverpool (who left the Premier League to join Real Madrid two seasons later).

    A 9-year-old can’t just fill his football sticker album up on an empty stomach, though. He’s got to have breakfast first. How about some Mornflake Oats? You can still buy them, though heaven knows when I last saw an advert for them. The bit that caught my eye was the statement that they are available at Somerfield. That particular chain of supermarkets was taken over by the Co-Op in 2009, and by 2012 all Somerfield stores had been rebranded to that of their new owners.

    I’ve written before about how I’m not into films, but Disney’s Tarzan was one of the few that I have actually seen in the cinema. The film was released in October 1999, but by Christmas 2002 the character was back in an exciting new video game for… the GameBoy Advance. Released in the summer of 2001, the GameBoy Advance took games away from the bedroom and made them portable – for as long as the battery would last, that is. I never had one (I had the original GameBoy, which was in black and white).

    I may not have had a GameBoy Advance but I did have a PlayStation 2. Pretty much everyone I knew who was my age between 2002 and 2006 had one, actually. There was one boy at school who had a GameCube – we all thought he was weird. The PS2 is still the best selling games console of all time (more than 155 million of them have been sold worldwide) but anyone who wasn’t lucky enough to own one in December 2002 had the chance to win one in this competition. Note how you can’t enter online, you’ve got to send your entry in by post.

    Speaking of brilliant competitions, here’s another one. I don’t know if this still happens, but when I was a kid it seemed nearly everyone – boys especially – went through a stage where we’d spend that bit between getting home from school and going in for tea whizzing about on skateboards. I had one myself, but I was utterly useless at it and never did manage to pull off a single trick on it. Here the comic is giving away a skateboard. What could possibly make that prize better? By the skateboard having a photo of your favourite WWF wrestler on it, of course!

    Yes, nowadays it’s the WWE that does wrestling, but until 2002 it was called the World Wrestling Federation. They were forced to change the name when they lost a court battle with the World Wildlife Fund. I swear I’m not making this up.

    Those are just a few examples of how the last 20 years or so have changed the world, seen through the prism of British comics. Wow, does it make me wish I was 10 again. The comics still even have the little sticker on them that the newsagent would use to let the paper boy know where to deliver them. Simpler, happier times.

    If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading.

  • Norwich’s unlikely triumph is why we follow sport

    Norwich City 3-2 Manchester City

    ‘I would accept 5-0’.

    It’s fair to say us Norwich City fans weren’t expecting much from the game against Manchester City. The above is something I overheard a lady in a yellow and green shirt say at the station as I waited for the train.

    I had been referring to the game as ‘the massacre’ as it approached. You always hope for the best but the fact that our defence has not exactly been watertight so far this season, Pep Guardiola would be bringing one of the best squads ever assembled and our injury list was so horrific that Stephen King might consider writing a story about it, I honestly feared it could be anything between 6 and 10 nil to Manchester City. The heaviest defeat in Premier League history was suffered by Ipswich, of all clubs, when they were thumped 9-0 by Manchester United in 1995. I hoped that record would not come under threat.

    Dereham-born academy graduate Todd Cantwell doubles Norwich’s lead against the champions

    What followed was surely one of the most unlikely results ever in football. I wonder if the Norwich players had seen how they were being completely written off and thought ‘we’ll show you’. We were confident enough to play out from the back, not frightened to play the same intricate passing football against the reigning champions as we had played against Rotherham and Millwall last season, we were utterly determined not to let Guardiola’s superstars walk all over us and we ended up playing the Manchester City way better than Manchester City.

    With so many injuries that Daniel Farke had to name two goalkeepers on the bench to make up the numbers, it didn’t bode well for a game against a club that could afford to bring world class talent like Kevin De Bruyne, Gabriel Jesus and Riyad Mahrez off the bench. But from those who were fit enough to take the field for Norwich, new heroes emerged. Sam Byram would have been highly unlikely to play had Max Aarons not been injured on England Under 21 duty, but he was fantastic at keeping the daunting Manchester City attack as quiet as possible. Ibrahim Amadou, making his home debut, was so good he picked up the man of the match award. Usually a holding midfielder, Amadou lined up alongside Ben Godfrey at centre half and put his body on the line for the cause.

    Ibrahim Amadou was immense for Norwich City

    Of course we needed some luck. Aymeric Laporte’s knee injury before the international break meant that the visitors were forced to partner John Stones and Nicolas Otamendi in central defence. The pair played as if they had never previously met and Norwich were able to capitalise with the superb Emi Buendia pinching the ball off Otamendi in the penalty area to set up the third goal. When Raheem Sterling crashed a free header against the post when it looked easier to score, I sat in the Barclay beginning to wonder if something special was happening below me.

    This match will live long in the memory and reminds us all why we follow sport. We all make our predictions. We all have an idea of how things are going to play out. Then sport surprises us. A series of events occurs that simply shouldn’t happen. That’s what we got at Carrow Road on Saturday. Write the Canaries off at your peril.

  • Whiny Wilder rubs tired City’s noses in it

    I nicknamed Chris Wilder, the Sheffield United manager, ‘Whiny’ after his hilariously bitter reaction to losing to Norwich earlier this season. Not only does he look like what I see in my mind’s eye when I think of the typical Brexit voter, but Wilder lost all credibility when he tried to blame the City coach driver for his side’s defeat.

    image
    Chris ‘Whiny’ Wilder

    All this made it all the more galling this afternoon when Whiny Wilder walked over to the Blades fans pumping his fists in the air having just taken the three points from Carrow Road. While I will never be able to take him seriously after his rant, they clearly love him, and you’d expect that having finally got them out of League One and taking a group of bang average players into the top six more than halfway through the Championship season.

    Norwich’s heroic performance against Chelsea on Wednesday had done the world of good for the club’s image, with disillusioned City fans getting firmly back on board and the casual BBC One viewer being impressed with the effort put in against the champions. Having worked so hard at Stamford Bridge, however, and with such a thin squad it was inevitable that tiredness would be a factor. Daniel Farke would have been keen to avoid using that as an excuse, but it was clear that there were weary legs among the City team and while they huffed and puffed they didn’t have enough to win today.

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    City’s efforts at Chelsea in midweek put them at a disadvantage today

    Sheffield United’s first goal, early on, could have been defended better but really it was a pot shot that happened to find the net. Their second, coming just as Norwich looked to be close to an equaliser, came through the combination of an ill advised Alex Tettey backpass and the poor decision of Angus Gunn not to charge out of his goal to try and clear. Gunn has been brilliant this season, but from my vantage point in the Barclay I do think this was his error. By choosing to stay on his line he made it too easy for the striker.

    I overheard on the way out of the ground that, yet again, it was a defender that had to score Norwich’s goal. While left back Jamal Lewis was the scorer against Chelsea, right back Ivo Pinto gave us hope very soon after Sheffield United’s second – but it wasn’t to be. With James Maddison having an off day (which he is allowed, ignoring the fact he was being kicked all over the place by Sheffield United’s players) it was left to Nelson Oliveira to get a goal from a forward position. Nelson continued to do what he’d done for most of this season, though, and that is spray it all over the place. Norwich need to sign a striker and they need to do it soon. Before the end of January.

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    Ivo Pinto, Norwich captain and goalscorer

    When these two teams met at Bramall Lane, the Sheffield United fans could not accept that Norwich had simply done a job on them and they had been beaten by the better side on the day. They, like their manager, were incredibly bitter about City’s so-called ‘antics’. There was nothing unusual about what City did that day. Every team, every single one, will do their best to waste a bit of time when they are protecting a narrow lead away from home. Ironically, this is exactly what Sheffield United did today. They didn’t win the game through beautiful football, they closed it out by wasting time. So despite some of the Blades fans saying they ‘wouldn’t want to support a team that plays like that’, it turns out that they do and are quite happy about it.

    It was another irritating home defeat for Norwich but we must not get too down about it. It was clear at Chelsea that there is something building under Daniel Farke and I think it might be next season before we really see the benefit of it. From what I’ve seen today, I can’t see Sheffield United sustaining a promotion push either. Their squad is nothing special and they should be happy with a top half finish. City may have come up short today, but at least you won’t find our manager blaming the opposition’s coach driver for it.

  • Same old story on day of change at Carrow Road

     

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    John Ruddy isn’t saving that.

     

    Another day, another disappointment. Norwich City put in a strong shift on Saturday and worked hard to get themselves 2-0 up – but this is no longer the time to be taking the positives. We need to win, we need points and we need to stop the rot.

    For the West Ham game, a lot had been changed at Carrow Road. I don’t just mean the team selection (three alterations from last week) or tactics, but pretty much everything. The players walked out to Kasabian instead of Kanye, we were treated to live opera in the centre circle before kick-off, and – that sure sign that things aren’t going well – clips of the commentary of some of the club’s greatest moments boomed from the speakers in an attempt to fire us up. That last one, in particular, made it feel like the last few months of the Hughton reign all over again.

    I try to be as fair as possible when forming my opinions on City. I’ll leave it a few hours after a draw or defeat before I pass comment, so I can be sure that what’s going through my head isn’t just in the heat of the moment. I still feel that on Saturday Norwich were the better side and did not really look threatened until West Ham scored their rather fortunate first goal.

    We came racing out of the blocks and while we didn’t manage to score in the first few minutes, the approach was correct. West Ham had gone all the way to the end of extra time with Liverpool in their FA Cup fourth round replay just four days previously. They had injury problems. City went out to get on top from the start.

    Robbie Brady scored an excellent goal, which hopefully signals a return to form for him, and the exhilaration around Carrow Road was palpable. There was an even bigger outpouring of joy when Wes Hoolahan doubled the lead. What a position we were in – 2-0 up, 25 minutes to go – would we get a better chance for a Premier League win?

     

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    Robbie Brady gave Norwich City the lead but it wasn’t to last.

     

    Nearly ten minutes later, when West Ham scored, there was a definite feeling around the ground of despair. They had only made it 2-1, but there was an air of ‘here we go again’ as if the crowd just knew that the Hammers would go on to equalise. Or worse.

    The defence was blamed again – but I’m not sure that’s fair this time. Brady made a superb tackle on Victor Moses, but the West Ham substitute got a bit of luck and managed to shoot. The shot was well saved by John Ruddy (who played well on his return to the side, I thought) but the rebound fell kindly for Dimitri Payet. For the equaliser, perhaps Timm Klose could have been slightly stronger but it was a well-spotted pass and a great strike from Mark Noble. I just think it’s too easy at the moment to blame the defence for every goal we concede. Sometimes you have to admit the opposition forced their way through.

    In the end, we had to settle for a point. A point that we say we probably would have taken before the game, but having been 2-0 up it feels like a defeat. City missed the chance to end this horrible winless run and build confidence going forward. Before Saturday’s game, I attempted to predict the outcomes of Norwich’s thirteen remaining games. I came up with three wins, three draws, and seven defeats – ending with 35 points. It’s unlikely to be enough to stay up.

    The worrying thing is I predicted a draw with West Ham…

     

  • My Durham holiday photo treasure hunt

    This is a break from the norm for this blog.

    I’ve been spending a few days in Durham. While Norwich City do in fact play away at Newcastle this weekend (about 18 miles away) my visit is unrelated. I had a week off work coming up, did not want to be at home crawling up the walls with boredom, and my godmother – who works up here – kindly offered me the chance to come and stay at her place.

    My Durham Cathedral selfie.
    My Durham Cathedral selfie.

    Last night, while out for a walk, I had an idea. I asked my godmother to come up with a list of things that she wanted me to go and photograph the next day – a sort of treasure hunt. When I got up this morning, I had a Skype message from her containing this list:

    Whatever is up both of those alleyways (alleyways we had seen on our walk)
    The Sanctuary knocker
    Harry Potter style cloisters
    A cathedral made of Lego
    A poem on a stone bridge with the cathedral in the background
    A piece of rubbish in an inappropriate place
    A large map of the UK embedded in the pavement, made up of coloured stone in a geological manner
    Tracy Franklin’s studio
    A nice pile of washing up on the draining board
    A cup of coffee in your hand

    Around midday today, I was ready with my phone to start the challenge. Here’s how I got on.

    Whatever is up both of those alleyways

    Durham is a very old city. It’s full of narrow streets, listed buildings and hidden passages. On our walk last night, my godmother and I came to one of these hidden passages.

    The entrance to one of the alleyways.
    The entrance to one of the alleyways.

    It was getting quite late and the alleyway looked rather spooky in the dark, it has to be said. In the comfort of daylight, I headed up the steps and saw this ahead of me:

    This is what was up one of those alleyways.
    This is what was up one of those alleyways.

    When we had been looking at the entrance last night, a man in a suit strolled past us and went up there. It felt rather narrow and a bit eerie even during the day, so I would certainly not have gone up there at night like he did! The other alleyway I was tasked to explore looked like this:

    The other alleyway.
    The other alleyway.

    It turns out that this alleyway merges with the other one and they both take you just outside Pizza Express!

    The Sanctuary knocker

    In case you don’t know, a Sanctuary knocker (or ‘haogday’ but that’s just a weird name for it) is an ornamental knocker on the door of a cathedral. Long ago, if you touched the knocker, you were afforded the right of asylum inside. Think of a medieval Julian Assange. This ended about 400 years ago, so don’t try it the next time you are on the run from the police. Here’s the Sanctuary knocker on Durham Cathedral.

    It's much bigger than it looks here.
    It’s much bigger than it looks here.

    Harry Potter style cloisters

    The city of Durham is dominated by its cathedral. It looms large over the whole peninsula.

    Durham Cathedral looms large over the city.
    Durham Cathedral looms large over the city.

    I knew that the next target on the list would involve a trip inside this magnificent building. I made my way to the cloisters – stopping to take in the awe-inspiring interior – and got the shot I needed.

    The Harry Potter style cloisters of Durham Cathedral.
    The Harry Potter style cloisters of Durham Cathedral.

    My godmother hadn’t put ‘Harry Potter style’ cloisters on the list just because they look like they should be part of Hogwarts – she put it like that because they are part of Hogwarts. Durham Cathedral was used as a location for the first two films in the series – the Philosopher’s Stone and the Chamber of Secrets. The cloisters are where Ron’s spell backfired and he ended up coughing up slugs. Here is a page showing some of the scenes shot here.

    Parts of Durham Cathedral are currently covered in scaffolding as it undergoes major repairs and development. They are calling the project Open Treasure and you can donate to help them maintain this amazing place.

    A cathedral made of Lego

    Reading the list with somewhat bleary eyes this morning, I did think ‘she wants me to make the cathedral out of Lego!?’. It seems an unlikely request, but you don’t know my godmother like I do. I then realised that there must be a Lego model of Durham Cathedral. After taking a photo of the cloisters, I headed for the gift shop and found what I was looking for.

    That's a lot of Lego.
    That’s a lot of Lego.

    The ‘182,000’ on the roof of this impressive Lego creation refers to the fact that there are now more than 182,000 pieces of Lego used in the model. And it’s not even finished. People can buy a brick and add it to the model personally.

    A poem on a stone bridge with the cathedral in the background

    Having left the cathedral, I went in search of this rather specific target. I had heard vaguely before about a bridge in Durham inscribed with a poem, but I had no idea where it was. It turns out it is on the secluded Prebends Bridge. It’s more than 340 years old and features the words of Sir Walter Scott from Harold the Dauntless.

    I was pretty pleased to get the money shot of the cathedral in the background too.
    I was pretty pleased to get the money shot of the cathedral in the background too.

    A piece of rubbish in an inappropriate place

    I thought this one would be easy. Durham is so historic that pretty much any rubbish lying around would be inappropriate. However, it seems the people here know that and so I discovered that Durham is one of the most litter-free places I have ever been to. I was scouring the flowerbeds close to the cathedral for just one crisp packet. I was desperate enough at one point to consider putting a piece of rubbish on the toilet seat in the flat and claiming that as target complete. Eventually, I settled on this:

    I get a pass for this one, don't I?
    I get a pass for this one, don’t I?

    That’s rubbish. Check. That’s in the front yard of the road leading to the World Heritage Site. That’s got to be inappropriate, right? I do wonder what the people who saw me take that photo must have thought of me.

    A large map of the UK embedded in the pavement, made up of coloured stone in a geological manner

    This was the most difficult one on the list to find. This is because it’s not in the city centre, but outside the University of Durham’s Bill Bryson Library.

    Like Ronseal, it does exactly what it says on the tin.
    Like Ronseal, it does exactly what it says on the tin.

    Once you get the idea of what it is and what it represents it’s pretty cool I think.

    Tracy Franklin’s studio

    ‘Who the hell is Tracy Franklin?’ I hear you ask. Good question. I hadn’t got a clue either. Tracy Franklin is an embroiderer, and her studio is here in a back street.

    Tracy Franklin's studio.
    Tracy Franklin’s studio.

    I would tell you more about Tracy Franklin and her embroidery, but as embroidery is one of the most boring things in the world, I won’t.

    A nice pile of washing up on the draining board

    Now this was a very sneaky way for my godmother to get the washing up done in her flat. Being the excellent guest that I am, I did this before heading out this morning. Here’s the proof.

    How clean is your house?
    How clean is your house?

    Last but not least…

    A cup of coffee in your hand

    After traipsing around Durham for more than three hours, I was quite happy to complete the challenge with this one. Sat back in the flat, this cup of coffee was very welcome on a chilly October day.

    Raising a mug to my successful completion of the challenge.
    Raising a mug to my successful completion of the challenge.

    With that, my photo treasure hunt was finished. It was a lot of fun actually, a great way to explore somewhere you’re not familiar with. I recommend this game the next time you go on holiday.

    Thanks for reading, and rest assured normal service will be resumed shortly.

  • Beckham’s World Cup heartbreak means he must rethink his retirement plans

    David Beckham last night, going down in a heap after suffering Achilles damage that will force him out of the World Cup. The injury could mean the end of his 115-cap England career.

    Laying in bed this morning, semi-conscious minutes after being woken up by the BBC Radio Norfolk newsreader, I felt a sudden sadness when I learned that David Beckham would not be going to the World Cup. I felt sorry for him. He never strikes me as being the most intelligent of people – a friend of mine at school used to love telling me Beckham once answered an interview question with the phrase ‘I wasn’t teached that way’ – but then he doesn’t need to be. Not in the academic sense anyway. From what I have seen of him on the TV, Beckham is a genius with a football. He is unrivalled when it comes to crossing or passing the ball. Not to mention his mesmerising free kicks, works of art in accuracy and precision. Some say his legs had gone, but an England squad with David Beckham in it is better than one without.

    Hard work is something that Beckham doesn’t shy away from either. He was Sven’s England captain, but Steve McLaren had the guts to leave him out of the team (others might argue this was just another of McLaren’s misguided actions). ‘Becks’ earned his way back in, and was it not for his pin-point crosses England’s Wembley defeat to Croatia that made certain of their no-show at Euro 2008 would have been even more embarrassing.

    The much more masterful Fabio Capello omitted Beckham from some of his squads too, wary of the quality of football the ex-Manchester United midfielder was participating in at the Los Angeles Galaxy. Far from admitting defeat as he approached his mid-30s, Beckham was prepared to strain his club relations for the sake of his country, organising a spring loan move to AC Milan. Don’t let the cynics make you believe that this was purely because his Spice Girl wife Victoria wanted a taste of fashionable Italy. Beckham moved to Serie A to keep his World Cup dream alive.

    Now into his second spell at San Siro, it hasn’t been perfect for the 34-year-old. He has never been the leading star, often being forced to settle for substitute appearances, but when he came on Beckham still oozed an aura of class. This was a player not to be taken lightly. This was a player who commanded respect. In the last month he was put into the shade by the future of English football itself, Wayne Rooney, but on current form anyone would be. It wasn’t as much of a ‘that was the old, this is the new’ showing as some pundits are warbling on about. He had his own doubts about his chances of boarding the plane for South Africa this summer, but the general consensus was he would be there, and he had earned the right to be there.

    It turns out, unfortunately, that these talking points are ultimately trivial. Last night Beckham broke down playing for Milan against Chievo. His manager Leonardo said the Londoner ‘knew immediately’ that his Achilles tendon was torn. TV pictures confirmed this, showing Beckham signalling a tear to the bench. Today, the injury that means he won’t be fit for the World Cup is headline news here, and heartbreaking news for Beckham himself.

    Who will replace David Beckham?

    James Milner, of Aston Villa, is my ideal choice to fill David Beckham's boots.

    Not only does Beckham have to rethink his plans after last night’s events, so does England manager Fabio Capello ahead of the World Cup, and possibly for after the tournament as well. Thankfully, there are a number of options. The obvious choice, Aaron Lennon of Tottenham, is facing his own injury battle and should he be fit, he might not be match-ready for the immense pressure and intense pace World Cup finals matches bring. Another possibility, one utilised by Capello previously, is Manchester City’s Shaun Wright Phillips, though his stuttered contract talks with the club he loves have been playing on his mind of late. Personally, I would punt for Aston Villa’s versatile James Milner, who has had a season to remember as one of the outstanding players in Martin O’Neill’s strong outfit. Still quite young, Milner’s career has seen him face tough times at Leeds United and Newcastle United, so he is more mature than most. A talented and strong player, not afraid to try a long shot, Milner looks to me to be the ideal midfielder to fill the sizeable void left by Beckham’s absence.

    Questions have now moved on to whether or not this would signal the end of David Beckham’s career. As I type, he is undergoing surgery in Finland to correct the injury. This would have been Beckham’s fourth World Cup – no Englishman has played at that many tournaments. It seems he will have to settle for three after all, a record to be proud of – only Bobby Moore and Peter Shilton have also played in as many World Cups for England as that. The swiftness with which Beckham has headed under the knife suggests he has not given up on his glittering career yet.

    Not that I am at all qualified to tell him what to do, but if David Beckham asked me for his advice, I would tell him this (and this has come about after some considerable thought). Retire from international football and come home for a swansong. Surgeons appear to be confident that they can get him playing football again. That’s good. I had convinced myself, prior to this awful news, that Beckham would draw the curtains on his career as a whole after this summer’s World Cup. Now he won’t be going, that would be a bad idea. He wouldn’t want it to end like this. It is important that England move on after the summer, though, and their plans in order to progress simply cannot include a veteran. Draw a line under your international career, Becks, and do it before you disappoint yourself trying to make it work again when you are fit.

    It would then be up to Beckham to sign off in the best possible way. Come home, back to play in front of the people who love you (the same people who hated you in 1998). I highly doubt Manchester United would take such a step to bring him back. Certainly not with Ferguson in charge. That’s just not how they work. It is without doubt, though, that Beckham could still cut it in the Premier League. How about at one of the clubs currently jostling for the coveted fourth place? Tottenham Hotspur? Aston Villa? Everton? A couple of seasons, dazzling performances, glory achieved before taking a step back as one of this country’s greats. I don’t want to go too far forward, but just in time for a cushy media job at Euro 2012?

    Think about it, Becks. You know it makes sense.